Autopilot

I am so unorganized right now. My life has been pretty chaotic the past month. Right after getting promoted at work we had several people leave and one take a leave of absence. We've been so focused on covering each department that it's been tough to accomplish all the things that need to to be done. Every day when I go to work I have a list of things I want to get done that day... and I never finish the entire list. I have to simply prioritize and just get done what needs to be done first.

Then there's my free time. I'm so mentally drained by the time I get home that I just want to veg out and do nothing. My house is so unorganized. My art hasn't been touched much lately. My lyric book has been largely unopened... until last night.

My band Moulin Roulette has been on hold for about a month or more now since our drummer quit. Last night we worked with a new drummer. Success. We started 2 new songs. I need to get some momentum going and just keep riding it.

Do you ever feel like just tossing everything out the window and starting from scratch? I feel a bit like that right now. Just empty my closet of the vast majority of my clothes and hit the thrift stores. Clear out my fridge and give away most of the food then grow my own. Sometimes I want to do that to my cell phone too. Delete a metric f ton of numbers. Save the numbers of the people who call me and screw the rest.

I just want to clear out the clutter. Cut out the excess. Hit refresh.

I'm in an interesting mood today... I can't even quite put a name to it. I'm not unhappy or happy. I just am. In a way I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing yet at the same time I'm okay with it. I'm just going with the flow. Letting things happen as they will. Allowing the universe to place me where I should be. I kind of feel like I'm on autopilot. There's not much emotion right now honestly. And I'm okay with it. And when it gets to the point when I'm not okay with something, I'll change what I'm doing, redirect my course.