Student of the World

We are the summation of our experiences and what we learn from them.

Another year is almost over. Where did 2010 go? It feels like I was just in Australia yesterday, discovering more about my dead mother, her past, my past, beginning a crazy journey of self discovery.

I remember having a conversation with a friend shortly before leaving the country at the end of 2009. We were talking about what we had learned that year. I failed to write it down then, so this year I will.

I have spent this year waking up in so many ways, waking up to my potential, my strength and my inner peace. I am learning to just breathe. Life is so short. Blink and a year's gone by. I'm through with selling myself short and accepting mediocrity over the greatness I'm capable of. I've learned to be okay with "alone." I've learned to look so much deeper into others' souls. I have learned the importance of balance.

Most importantly, this year I learned that it's okay that I miss my mum so much it hurts sometimes. Through counseling and reading the book "Motherless Daughters" I have learned that it is very common for women to re-experience the trauma of a mother's loss when they are going through transitional phases in their lives; graduating/beginning a new career, getting married, having children, etc. Mothers are our source of comfort, shelter and provision. We emulate our mothers. But how does a woman emulate someone who she never knew? I am learning to make myself. I am learning to let go, but not forget.

I have learned so much yet I know there is still so much left for me to learn. And it makes me so excited. :) I crave growth, knowledge, insight, understanding. I am eager to see who else will cross my path, who I will embrace and what I will learn from them. I refuse to stand still and become complacent. I am a constant work in progress and I love it.