Life has been really busy lately. Big changes are on the horizon and life is moving fast. Despite the dash of craziness, however, I feel great! I've been doing a lot better about keeping a routine. Since the beginning of the year I've lost 5 pounds and on average have worked out 3 times a week. I've been getting to work earlier. I've been going to bed earlier. I'm going out to eat less. So even though some changes are coming, at least I feel as though I've got a rhythm.
Speaking of changes, my birthday is in 2 weeks. I'm going to be 26. It's so weird to look back at the past, at the person I once was. I've changed so much at different points in my life that it's almost as if I've lived multiple lives within this one. Each phase of my life is like a chapter to a saga. There have already been so many different chapters, it makes me wonder how many more the book will contain until finally those two words appear... the end. I've thought about writing a book about my life some day, especially about my mother, but I have no idea where I would even begin to collect it all together in a cohesive and relevant collection.
Do you ever look back at parts of your past and it seems like they didn't really happen to you? It's as if the memories that you go over in your head aren't really your own memories, they almost feel borrowed, not really belonging to you. Sometimes it feels like watching a movie you've already seen; you know the plot, you know the story line, you may relate to it, but it feels distant and detached. It's so bizarre. How do you explain that? Is it like that for everyone? Is that what getting older feels like?
As I think of my life, my birth, my aging, and my inevitable death, all I can say is that when it's time for the end, I hope others will be able to say that my saga was truly epic.
That's so weird that you would ask about looking back and feeling disconnected to your memories, I was just thinking about that on my way to work today. I was thinking for some reason about how I used to have to wear a uniform to school. It's not something that I particularly miss, but for some reason the most vivid thing I could remember about wearing uniforms was a picture of me putting up my hair and my 7th grade teacher making fun of me...weird.
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