The Difference of a Year

I started this blog one year ago... So much can change in the span of a year.

When I first started writing this blog I was living with the worst roommate I've ever had. I had no place where I could go and relax because things were so tense in that house. I was going to therapy and dealing with depression. My head was still spinning after an emotionally painful experience. My bills, thanks mostly to school loans, exceeded my income. I was a recent grad that felt like a failure and like I had no direction.

So where am I now? I am in a much better place. Yes, I still have doubts and I still sometimes wonder which direction to turn in but my current situation is such a stark contrast to what it was one year ago. I have my own place. I'm in a duplex surrounded by good neighbors in a location that I love. I have no roommate, just my dog, and my dog doesn't care if I leave the dishes until tomorrow. I stopped going to therapy in the earlier part of this year and stopped taking my anti-depressants. I have less anxiety and haven't felt the intense lows of depression for a long time now thanks to meditation.

As far as relationships are concerned, I still haven't been in one since starting this blog. Yeah, I've gone on some dates, spent some time getting to know a few guys, (even wrote a blog about being a bit smitten) but nothing turned into a committed relationship. I've spent more time getting to know myself than getting to know men, which is definitely a good thing.

Change is gradual, it doesn't happen over night, but I've changed so much in this past year... Perhaps it was that the change had already been taking place, somewhere deep down, and it finally came to fruition.

Probably the biggest change is that I no longer think that getting married and having kids is a necessity for my life. Sure, it might happen, and if it does, cool; but I'm not going to feel unfulfilled and devastated if for some reason I'm unable to, or just never have the time to have kids. I'm not going to settle down just because society tells me that being an "old maid" is a sad, lonely existence. Screw biological clocks and the desperate search to find "the one." I'm going to do what I want when I want. If my life fails to mirror the typical, average American, good. I want to be different. I think I'm in a good place... I'm not worried about setting a time limit on life's events, I'm okay with simply accepting things as they come to me.

Aside from that, the biggest difference in my life as compared to what it was a year ago is my financial peace of mind. Since my promotion I've been able to pay my bills without needing my dad's help from time to time and I've been able to start building my savings back up. I've also been able to treat myself to occasional shopping trips! :)

I'm always amazed at the difference a year can make, I can't wait to see where I'll be this time next year. Perhaps I'll be working a different job, maybe living in a different city, in a relationship? Still single? Performing on stage again and more physically fit hopefully! Either way, I'm sure I'll be happy and I'll take joy in the growth brought by another year.