Moving Away From Home

A month ago today I moved to Omaha, Nebraska for another promotion through Guitar Center, my 3rd one in less than 2 years with the company. Everyone kept telling me how brave I am to move to a new city all by myself. I knew it would be a challenge but I didn't really get why they were saying I was brave... Until now.

I wasn't expecting to be sick my first week and a half here, have a guy run a red light and hit me a week ago, or lock myself out of my apartment one morning. This move has thrown off my groove. Holy hell did I underestimate how huge this adjustment would be!

I Don't Know This City

I came to visit Omaha a couple times before moving here. I was really excited because it's a bit bigger than Wichita but still has the friendly Midwest mentality. This city also has more to offer in fine arts (big bonus for a musician/artist/thespian)! While visiting I also found plenty of options for vegetarian dinning and discovered that two neighborhoods have community gardens. It seemed like a perfect fit!

What I quickly discovered after moving here is that although the city has a lot to offer, I don't know where any of it is. Yes, the internet helps, but I found myself not having a clue where to go for even the most mundane, every day things like where to get gas, where to go grocery shopping, clothes shopping (I need thrift stores!) and don't even get me started on where to live.

I Don't Know This Crew

I spent nearly 2 years at the same Guitar Center, with the same boss and (for the most part) the same coworkers. I knew which training methods worked with which sales associate, I knew their communication styles, I knew my customers. I'm now adjusting to new personalities, a bigger store, different priorities. I'm getting to know them and they're getting to know me.

I'm Alone

Yes, I can call my family and friends but it's different when you can't just stop by to see them or catch up over your lunch break. Usually a new job brings insta-friends, and while I have hung out with some of my coworkers, being a supervisor means keeping a certain level of detachment. And, oh yeah, to top it all off, being alone has drudged up all the pain of loosing my mother... again.

At first I was frustrated and angry with myself, saying I shouldn't be such a baby, after all, mum died 24 years ago. But yesterday it all came to a head, I reached the final boiling point and it all spilled over. Luckily I received a phone call from Sonja and she helped me to process what I was feeling. I can't express how thankful I am to have her in my life...

The truth is, you never get over that kind of loss and it can come back suddenly at times, especially when you're going through a major life event. All of a sudden I recalled all the things I'd read in the book "Motherless Daughters" and I knew it was okay to feel this way. When life is scary and you don't know what to do, primal instinct makes you want to turn to your first source of safety, your mother's arms. But what do you do when that's not an option?

Learning, Growing and Adjusting

"A crisis is a terrible thing to waste." My District Sales Manager said this to me the other day. He is such a great mentor and I'm so glad he shared that with me. I may feel lost, alone and confused right now but I know that everything we experience is a learning opportunity, and I'm not going to waste that opportunity. I'm trying to be more kind to myself, to give myself the time I need to adjust, to heal, to grow. These days are just growing pains and this too shall pass.