Road Map to Happiness

I was told by a friend that I need to give serious thought as to what makes me happy and then make steps to work toward being happier...

I haven't felt quite like me lately. I consider myself to be a happy-go-lucky, bubbly and energetic person. In spite of the hardships I've endured in my life, I'm a very positive, hopeful person. Lately, however, I've been allowing stress and worry to weigh me down. I need to move forward and get out from under this cloud of tension.

Happiness. What makes me happy? More importantly, what will help me to feel balanced? If one aspect of self is lacking it can throw the whole thing off balance. I once saw a diagram depicting the different elements of self... I hope I'm not forgetting one but these are each areas that need attention in order to have balance:

Social
Spiritual
Creative
Professional
Intellectual
Physical
Emotional

I feel as though too many of these areas have been lacking. I need to make time for each area. I need to eat healthier, make time for yoga at least 3 times a week, pick my guitar back up and take lessons once a week, practicing at least 3 times a week, meditate daily. I need to take more time to work on me.

Life After Graduation

Since this is my first blog post I'm trying to decide where to start... Usually the best place to start is at the beginning but the beginning for me is very complicated. The first 4 years of my life were full of chaos, which explains my intense desire for stability and the stress I'm currently experiencing from a lack of such.

I graduated from college a year and a half ago. Almost as soon as I got my diploma I was hit with an intense feeling of identity crisis. I'm done with college, now what? Who am I, what direction do I go in now, how do I begin to make my childhood dreams come true? The companies I was seeking employment with all responded the same way, "We want someone with more experience." 2009. What a crappy time to graduate. I was suddenly confronted with limited and endless possibilities at the same time; I felt like a giant contradiction. I was limited due to the poor job economy, yet not having a corporate, degree-related job opened up so many other possibilities.

Since graduating I've gone skydiving, sang in a band for a year, traveled to Australia for 6 weeks, moved 4 times, started meditating and maxed out a credit card. I'm not sure which direction to turn in. I want so badly to just pour myself into my music but at the same time I need a job that pays more than a guitar store so I don't have to keep relying on financial aid from my dad.

All the stress of becoming an adult has been exasperated even more by the absence of my mother. (Her death was part of the chaos in the first 4 years of my life, a story for another time.) Even though I've been without her for nearly my entire life, I miss her most right now. Now, when I feel so lost and uncertain, I'm like a child who needs her mommy for comfort and reassurance.

I'm not sure if anyone will end up reading this blog or if it will simply be my personal outlet as I attempt to understand myself better and find my way. If there are readers, thank you for reading. Please feel free to leave comments, I believe there is something to be learned from each person and I value any pearls of wisdom I can get.